Like every sen
sible (aesthetically, that is ) teen, I too had a dream. A Beautiful Dream.A dream of a dream girl.......... A dream to have a dream girl.
A dream to have a beautiful girl to die for... to love for... to live for....
And here's the catch... why has the girl have to be beautiful? Because... I am a beauty buff. I like beauty. Beauty in all forms.... all manifestations... Beauty of a girl, beauty of nature, beauty of a painting, beauty of prose and poetry.... Every discreet expression of beauty fills my heart with delight. Look at the associated image. I don't know who the girl is. Maybe, some South Indian actress.( My south Indian friends, please forgive my sin) But she is a beholder's delight. I don't know how she looks in real life? For me, the image is the medium of expression of her beauty and I care for nothing else.
The oft repeated cliche " Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" may be true in its place. But I don't understand, how a beautiful thing might look ugly to someone or an ugl
y thing beautiful, unless there is some associated connection of love and hate(Love is blind, remember? and hate??). So for that matter, if the Taj Mahal is beautiful, it looks beautiful to all, whoever is the beholder. Maybe one can find an Aishwarya Rai sitting in front of Taj Mahal spoiling the heritage's beauty (I do) and someone else might find them consummating each other. But there's no doubt(at least in my mind) they both are beautiful in their own right.I can't define beauty. I'm not sufficiently qualified to define beauty. All I have is an inherent sense of beauty which guides me to my likings and dislikes.
So, what's special about this dream?
Nothing... I never said I had a special dream. I just had a dream, like every other boy of my age has.... Only that, I have not been able to get rid of that dream even now. After so many falls... after so many unsuccessful bouts of wooing a beautiful girl to love for... after so many heart-burns.... this indomitable dream of mine has still not left my eyes..
So,what's wrong?
Nothing... at least I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Except that I am made to believe the contrary. That dreaming of a beautiful girl is a fancy, a fantasy not to be indulged in. That I should not look for an 'only beautiful' girl. "Character", they say, is more important. I don't disagree.
But somehow I feel this: why can't I get a girl who is beautiful, smart and cultured at the same time? Here.......gotcha.....
How Selfish I am? I want everything in my girl without ever reflecting what do I have for such a girl. Am I worth her? Am I worth my dream?
Maybe that's why I've not yet realized this dream of mine. Though I know I have plenty to offer ( I can't start recounting them here). But to be modest, let's say, I don't have much to offer. Then...? Shouldn't I dream?
Hmmm.......
It may be that I myself am responsible for not realizing my dreams. Not that I did not try or put a sincere effort. I did.
To realize this dream.... well, I have done what today I think were foolish.... or childish..... ummh.. teenish... (or may be smart, if only they had turned into a success).
But may be that even if I had had a 'love guru' and made all the right moves, I would still have been, where I am right now. Nowhere near realizing my dream (this specific dream). That's because I never looked at myself before dreaming. Actually no one does. But then, this dream is different. Because it involves owning/getting another person, a live person.... which is not entirely in any one's (except HIS) realms. It's not like dreaming for a car, or a career goal, or a trophy, which is still realizable if one is ready to give more than it takes. I dream of becoming a manager, a business-man and a leader. And realize my dreams I will. But these dreams are not dependent on somone else's deigning to be available to be achieved (won).
That's my 'Beautiful Dream' for you. Your comments (of any hue) are welcome (infact, eagerly awaited).
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